He would had been be 92 today.
Itz days like these, that one stops and reflects on why the heart always feel sore thinking about him. I can't say for others; But my own inner pangs of regret formed when i began to know the full extend of how misunderstood he was.... I was one of many, whom gradually came to know about his 24/7 commitment, his never failing love for our country… Like his never-failing love and devotion for his wife.
We might never agree fully with his actions or decisions; like how we might not agree with our parent's or grandparent's version of love via nagging, scolding, threatening, forcing, restrictions, curfews, canning, etc the list goes on... We might never understand fully the logic of "tough love". Why it is necessary? Why so rigid, why so heartless, why so fierce, why so cruel...? We end up resentful of every single thing done & said.
We do not see the love in these "cruel inhumane" actions. It is only, when faced with the hash realities of life, that we realised, that the world is even more inhumane. Countries outside of Singapore, they are indeed so different. It is only when faced with a comparison, that we appreciate this logic of "tough love".
Appreciation for the "inhumane" growing up process develops. The "tough love" had equipped me with the ability, to withstand whatever shit that life throws; coz no one owes us a living, not our leaders, not even our parents.
Only problem... I knew it only too late... I knew about the things Mr LKY did only AFTER he passed. And I never ever got the chance to even say a simple thank you… many of us never did say that before he passed. In fact, attitudes expressed towards him, were the total opposite of "thanx or appreciation or grateful".
He had passed on with all these negative words and feelings and misunderstanding, from the people he spent his whole life for. My heart rant complains to him, why didn't he say all these works..? Why didn't he explain all these misunderstandings?
My heart knows the simple answer to this rant... because no one would believed. Even if he does say, explain or share. No one would believe. And knowing Mr LKY, he did not do it bcoz he wants any thanx from us. Like a stubborn grandpa, whom you buy him a gift of appreciation, would end up rejecting it coz I duno why...
And because of this simple reason. We all bear the heart-burnt of letting this great man passed-on, without him seeing "live" the depth of our thanx and appreciation. He left not knowing. If only that morning... it was not his coffin being driven through the streets in the rain. But him sitting in a car...
Alive and knowing that every single of of us that lined the streets that raining day, had hearts filled to the brim and overflowing with thanx and gratitude. Alive and hearing the silent cries of sorry in our hearts, sorry for not knowing earlier.
But it was not so... We did not get a chance to say what we wanted to say before he passed. And we would never ever know, if he heard or saw what happened from above after he passed. This pain in the heart stays.
Perhaps it stays to act like as a constant reminder to each and everyone of us, to continue our best to take care of Singapore. That should be whatr LKY would want to see... instead of just saying "Thank You". I don't think a thank you suffices anyway...
Would do our best to take care of Singapore, so that your efforts do not go down the drain. And your legacy would be our solid foundation to grow and become better in the next 50 years. #thankyouMrLee #Happy92thBirthday
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